Last post of the year

If you want a good account of Christmas, read my brother's blog.
I have been much too distracted to blog as of late. Maybe it's because nothing is making me mad.
The trip to LVLM was not bad. I was glad we stayed for a whole week and was somewhat reluctant to leave. Now I'm back in Seattle and actually back at work because I unwisely forgot that no one would be at my office to receive my Very Important Package and I don't want to wait until Tuesday to play with my new toy (thanks Mama!).
I am somewhere between hungry and stomach ache right now, maybe from the pan fried chicken I just made at my place and the fact that I only made 4 pieces of party wings.
I've been frustratedly working on my art that L commissioned for her place and that was all the plans I had until 5pm when I planned to either have my new toy or give up. I can handle 3 more hours maybe. Maybe I'll make a masterpiece.
Goodbye 2005. You were a nice divisible by 5 sort of year. I like it when things go well.

To shed a little light.

I just realized all I've been writing about is lukewarm-angry-disheartening things, so I should mention that stuff aint so bad in my neck of the woods.

I've started going to the swimming pool and getting in some cardio workout. Last night, M joined me for water aerobics. It was fun, but I actually wanted to be a little more challenged, so I suppose I will be more inclined for the whole lap swimming thing in the future. It's great because I pay per session (only $4.50) so it's not like having gym membership dues go to waste because I'm too lazy to go one week or whatever.
I'm already an amateur pro!! At least, I probably look like one. I got my swim cap, nose plugs, (chlorine+sinuses=panic inducing burning sensation)...well, that's it actually. I am still using a 2 piece suit because I haven't gone shopping for a sportier one (and because my old sporty one, which that gross E girl borrowed once upon a time is too small and icky anyway because that means her hoo-ha had contact with it. I don't care if it was 7 years ago!).

So yeah, I think maybe I am getting some reward endorphins from that. Maybe I will be a fitness addict soon. ...nah.

Other than that, I have to make some lumpia tonight for our company Christmas party and I am sorta broke - at least broke because I am refusing to touch my savings so I can buy a new computer with it.

There may have been one other exciting thing that I did... oh yeah. I ended up at a cozy, non dive wine bar recently and was offered a glass out of a $83 dollar bottle. I don't usually like reds, but that one was pretty darn good. Too bad I'll never afford it myself! But maybe I'm getting caught up in the materialism of the situation. The point was supposed to be that I am glad to end up places with nobody I know at times and just shoot the shit with strangers. I think I might have preferred it that way in fact.
The best part is I didn't get hit on.

WHOO!

La Mentira

I just came up with a new nickname for Las Vegas, so if you see me refer to it as LVLM, you'll know what I'm talking about.

Porque claro que es una Mentira llamar el desierto ¨las vegas¨que NO sigifica desierto, pero signfica al contrario... por favor, en las palabras famosas de los Black Eyed Peas y Juanes, "no me digas mentiras."

It all comes together,

Racism, classism, mental illness, access to health care, irresponsible government blaming the victim and justifying wrongdoing instead of taking accountability for the excessive use of force...

Sometimes I try not to read the news because it makes me die a little inside.

Basically what they're saying is that this man was just another egg in the nasty messed up omelette they call "the war on terror."

"Hey - she was wearing tight jeans. She was asking for it."

How many people do we know have to deal with bi-polar, depression, and other mental illness that require medicine or other proper behavioral health care and probably don't have all the access or money in the world to get it? Who could this man have been in your life?

AIDS/RACISM

Well today is supposedly blog against racism day, and I was thinking about a semi-thoughtful 5 paragraph essay, but now I'm at work an hour later than I intended (I'll just take off early tomorrow!) and hungry.

Today is also World AIDS Day, which I have been a part of, on occasion, but mostly in my sorta-activist youth back in the T-town.

What can I say about these two subjects? Hmm. Maybe something about how racism and AIDS cannot be thought of as two completely seperate issues.

Impact of HIV/AIDS on People of Color:

· People of color now represent the majority of new HIV infections, as well as new AIDS cases and people living with with AIDS in the U.S.

· Although African-Americans and Latinos represented 13% and 14% of the U.S. population, respectively, in 2003, they accounted for 49% and 20% of newly diagnosed AIDS cases.

· Studies have shown that survival after an AIDS diagnosis is lower among African Americans than other racial/ethnic groups.


Yah, that's good enough for now. I wish I had better links to research, but it's almost 7pm and I'm still at work.

I got started doing HIV prevention work when I was a junior in high school and got a nice grey hoodie out of it that I still wear today. I also got to be a pusher of condoms and lube and hang out in dangerous downtown Olympia past dark. We had good times, learning how to properly sterilize a needle and load it with heroin, scrambling to find something to cover the reflective metal bowl of condoms to protect it from the sun, dressing up like an AIDS ribbon and walking around Capitol Lake, meeting Miss America, Kate Shindle, etc..

My favorite was when I came up with a brilliant program to promote National Condom Week and got shut down by my principal who went to the same church as me. I wasn't being an annoying kid about it either. I had daily announcements, lunch activities including making a mural or art, a bodily fluids/pathways wheel of fortune-type game, AIDS ribbons, and sample condoms that I had no intention of handing out as the ASB president (and 100 more + instructions in my backpack that I handed out as not-ASB president).

Oh yeah - my other favorite was when we argued "should condoms be available in schools or in the nurse's office at school" in my church and my Catechist got up and said, "Giving out condoms is like giving needles to drug users," to which I said, "Guess what, that program works - in the past year the rate of HIV transmission for injection drug users is 1%! EAT MY SHORTS!" (minus shorts). Then they surprised us with a candle lighting ceremony for dead unborn babies. I'm glad I got confirmed, and I'm glad those totally f'ed up white middle aged gay homophobic father men had nothing to do with it.

What do you know! Segue to racism!
ha. My freshman year some jock-hillbilly asked me if I was a spic in class because I said something to him in Spanish. Having that shocked-don't-know-what-to-say reaction, I actually answered that POS's question and he then asked me, "are you a Chink?...then what ARE you?" Still lacking the wisdom to either ignore him or put my knee in his crotch, I answered those questions too.
Tumwater was great, man. It taught me lots of lessons about how racist people are from your stupid jock classmates to my Superintendent, who told me, while interviewing him about Affirmative Action for our school newspaper (I-200 actually) that we don't have a lot of POC teachers because there "aren't enough qualified minorities."

Piece of shit.

I need to go eat something before bitterness takes my clarity away. I mean - there's so much more to be mad about, but if I try to write about that I'll starve.

peace.